blue ties.

Every show and movie I've watched today, someone was wearing a blue tie. Fight Club, the featured Saturday night movie on local television, the boss man wore cornflower blue ties. The memory eraser doctor on Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, wears a blue tie and white lab coat. The countless episodes of How I Met Your Mother; I'm certain that Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) wears some sort of blue cravat.

Last night was an amazing night for me. I went to a Katchafire concert by myself, danced the night away, met some cool cats, and ate late night fish & chips -- a $5 value meal which provided 3 meals. I came home elated, jubilant, and crazy in love. Chances on my side, I was able to revel in the momentous evening with my boyfriend via Skype. Seeing him I felt like reciting all of Rumi's love poems, the Corinthians, cheesy overpriced screen print cards and their cliche yet all the right words card messages to him. I went to bed and slept like a baby. 

Tonight is not as adventurous. In fact, tonight, Saturday night, is rather boring and lonely.

Having spent last night drinking, I slept in today. There was no real pertinent tangible reason for me to get up. With my curtains drawn my room simulated night and I was warm and cozy under my sheep skin rug/blanket. Then the driving mantra of my existence, Carpe Diem! pushed my out of bed and into the shower. It was 1130am.

I toyed with the idea of catching a movie by myself then possibly meeting up with the people I met last night for a drink.  I called Air New Zealand to reschedule my trip to Australia. I was going to leave tomorrow. The man on the other line, Trevor, was the most conversation I had had all day. Aside from business, we compared American apples with Kiwi oranges. It was the first conversation I've had with a Kiwi that didn't feel forced.  Yes he was helping me with my ticket situation but the conversation itself wasn't part of his job script.  He wasn't associated with the rugby club nor was he attempting to hit on me. He was a stranger actually interested in our chat. It was nice. Pleasant to my ear.  I cooked spaghetti making homemade pasta sauce. I didn't have any defrosted ground beef and thought about how my boyfriend prefers everything with meat. I missed him while I cooked. Time slipped away and I concluded that tonight was the night to go out.  A decision dependent solely on financial reasons.

Not long after I sat down to eat my spaghetti and side of broccoli, my roommate Mike went to bed. It was around 9pm. I watched Fight Club anxiously anticipating the scene when he realizes he is Trevor and starts beating himself up. When it got to that part, I waited too long that I lost interest at the end. I sneaked into Mike's tobacco and rolled myself a cigarette. Somewhere in the middle of the film, I started drinking a beer. I walked out onto the back deck, sat in the dark and smoked my stolen cigarette and drank my half empty bottle of beer.  I hadn't had a smoke in so long my cig kept blowing out. I also don't think I roll cigarettes well.  Like I said, it had been a while and will be again.

It was a cloudy night. I couldn't see any stars. On a clear night, New Zealand night skies are lit with boundless stars.  I think I may have even seen the Milky Way a time or two. Sadly, that wasn't tonight.

Smoking in the cold is as familiar to me as the wooden floors of my family home.

I wondered about my friend Tedd. He's coming to New Zealand in September living here for a whole year. I wondered about what experiences he will have and if he would ever feel as lonely as I was when I smoking on the deck. He will have an indescribable time. I imagine him getting along with the guys in pubs, meeting other backpackers, drawing on napkins, laughter and then quiet nights staring at the stars surrounded by newness and people. He won't be set in one place. He'll be free to do as he pleases. Unlike me, he isn't waiting for someone to come back. I'm excited for Tedd. He's my friend.

I suppose I could just go to bed now.  For most the day is over unless you are out partying, then your night is just beginning.

Oh well...so another one bites the dust and today was a "Sunday" Saturday.